August has been an interesting month and a far cry from how things felt in July. I chose to make this a month for caring for and nurturing myself. I took time to do things that brought me pleasure and joy and that turned out to be a really good idea! Interestingly, I took a step back from thinking and working things too actively and, along the way, I learnt a few things.
I think the main thing I realised is that maybe I don’t need to try so damn hard all the time. I grew up being told just to try my best, that the outcome didn’t matter as long as I had to tried my best. I think that’s great advice except, somehow along the way, I took it to mean that I’m not doing enough unless I’m giving it my all, giving it everything, straining. I know I’m not the only person struggling with the idea that anything worth achieving has to be hard work – my wonderful friend Siobhan has been thinking this too.
But I think I’ve had a bit of breakthrough over the past couple of weeks. Well, maybe not a breakthrough, more of a gradual realisation. An awakening, if you will. It turns out that all that stuff about ‘flow’ is kind of true. When I relax my tight little grip on controlling everything, life flows in its own way and seems to work out pretty well. Since relaxing into it a little more, nothing’s fallen apart and – news flash – the world did not stop turning. In fact, things have been going really well and I’m happier for it.
It feels like a really good place right now. I’m choosing where I focus my energy. I’m making decisions about what feels good. I’m listening to my gut, to my intuition, and to people that care about me, all the while knowing, deep down, that there are no wrong decisions. By the same token, there’s no gold star or a + or report card at the end of all of this. I was reading this blog post by Project Love – What If – and thought “that’s me”! Focusing on the destination at the expense of just enjoying the ride. So now it’s less about the ‘what’ and more about the ‘why’ and the ‘how’.
And there are lots of exciting things going on. As always, there is absolutely no plan! I have no idea where this will all lead. But you know, it doesn’t have to lead anywhere. As long as I keep putting positive energy out there, opportunities will come along and then it’s about going with the flow. Which means taking the oars out and letting the river carry you…not all about battling upstream all of the time – this podcast episode from Jess Lively really resonated with me on this.
Here a few of the things that I’ve been enjoying this month:
Sunday Assembly – a fortnightly celebration of life…so uplifting!
Window-shopping for my new flat – hopefully moving in by the end of October and very, very excited
Spending time with friends and family at the theatre, at comedy shows, over good food, and out for walks. Nourishment for the soul.
Starting to study for my Yoga Teacher Training course, which starts in a couple of weeks…
May your life be filled with light and love xxx